im back from Macau and i was treated REALLY like a princess in Macau. =)

finally, im loving the feeling of being doted on.

i have a lot to say but somehow i am stuck with words.

im dating a guy who is a good father but a bad husband. i am not a mistress, definitely. coz i am still earning my own money.
he told me that we can end this relationship if i've found a nice guy i want to be with. he said he wouldnt have hard feelings against me.

sigghhhhh.

I'm going Macau this Saturday! Wheeeeee!

Ever since I came back, I have been incredibly busy. Im so used to my phone having texts and calls every now and then.

Friday was at Mr.Punch chilling with the usuals. But things went for a turn at the end of the night. We went for the delicious BAR CHOR MEE at upp thomson.

Dinner with Evi on saturday. we were about to catch a movie when suddenly i received a phone call. the moment he arrived in singapore, he looked for me! i was touched, obviously. but i cannot be with him romantically. as a friend, yes. but not more than that. i believed wendy, shifu and paul will KILL ME.

he was SOOOOO tired but he still accompanied me to zouk to look for evi. in the end, that woman was drunk. HAHAHAHAHA! and i had to send her home before heading down to butter to look for shifu. some idiot at dfly offered to buy me lychee martini but in the end, he got me flaming lambourghini which i PUKED out instantly.

we stayed till sunrise at chinatown before home sweet home. it HAS been long.

i dont know what will this lead to at the end of the day if we are romantically involved together.

so, after 2 weekends spent in KL, i finally stay put in singapore for this weekend.

we had an early birthday celebration for ndrew last week. and boy, it was fabulous. =)



my saturday was burnt. i felt so lost, not knowing what to do for the weekend. in the end, i slept early to make up the loss of sleep on wednesday.

it has been long since i went out with shifu on wednesday and head straight to work in the morning.

im happy that my sunday is well-spent. =)

i went shopping with evi yesterday, and finally bought me a new watch! my old watch has been sent for strap changing, finally! it was dinner at carousel. and i love the prawns!!! after that it was talk cock session with paul po and uncle samuel at prata house and the later part of the night, it was thai pub with shifu. i was so damn tired.

i didnt sleep much on sunday, and today, i thought i could sleep in a little, i woke up at 0830am suddenly. few seconds later, my phone rang. i thought it was mommy who called. little did i know that it was him. im glad that he still remembers to give me tip-off on which stock mommy should buy.

therefore, i concluded, TODAY IS A HAPPY HAPPY DAY!

i was out yesterday with a friend and we were talking about this common person we know. i was pretty disappointed by certain facts which i saw and what i heard previously from that person.

it was supposed to be a small matter, but somehow things got complicated. its either a 'yes' or a 'no', 'black' or 'white'. a very simple question and yet..

how nice it would be, if i am not close to the person's closest person (or rather both). i mean seriously, it doesnt make sense. what i am hearing now is not what i knew about this person few years back and now.

i was supposed to get my mascara last night, but desmond refused to bring me. and he said something which i didnt even realize myself.




I AM ADDICTED TO MAKE UP.

Times seriously fly! I have been out almost everyday.

Pretty is coming back from Milan tomorrow and we are going to have our weekly dosage of prawning at East Coast.

less than TWO MONTHS to go..


finally, the long awaited birthday party organized for the five dragon-babies was held on the 8th August. It has been long since Chinese New Year.











Shifu text me in the middle of the evening to Gallery Bar. luckily, my uncle picked my aunt and i from newton. imagine how much we have to pay for the cab fare from pasir ris to jurong!!!

i was late for an hour plus. HAHAHAAHA.




the birthday boy.









and i had a minor hangover the next day! it felt so horrible! and of course, the engine continued all the way back to pasir ris.

CHAMPAGNE CHAMPAGNE..

no more downing it like plain water.

korean language is so so so COMPLICATED!

i gotten a sore eye because i almost saw a guy pee pee. GOSH! i doubt he understands the meaning of locking the damn door.

so sleepy but i havent cramming those simple korean words into my brains yet. gotta buck up!

i stolen this from wendy. HEEHEE!



i love natalie's cheekbones, wendy's pouty lips and the adorable funky shades.

the scenario now is so 2 years ago. dont say give up.. i dont even want to think about it.

ERASE ERASE ERASE. REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE. DELETE DELETE DELETE.

thats so much better now.





ITS POCKY TIME BABY!

im doing research online and reading up on events planning.

i didnt think of it until last night, as i was deleting previous sms-es, i came across a sms from a friend who mentioned about it unknowingly.

so i decided to read about it and see if it's suitable for me. seriously, i have been bumming around.. even though im loving it to the max. but i dont think wasting time is a choice right now.

therefore, i shall not waste time right now.

I am starting to love my BB Storm! (even though it gives me craps every now and then)

amk really sucks man.. its so damn boring.















im so glad that mr tan went taiwan for a week! i am so happy to be home at mommy's. this one whole year will be a torturous journey. BLESS ME!

yesterday was out at phuture because shifu was having his battle competition. RED LABEL SUCKS LIKE HELL MAN!

luckily i have ndrew last night to help me with 'painting' on my face and a new hairdo. HAHAHAHAHAA! phewww!

im feeling very happy now even though i barely slept for 4 hrs. and i finally finished my hk drama! feeling super accomplished early in the morning. how i wish i could sleep more.. it beats sitting in front of the comp and wikipeding around.

im so into this korean band, BIG BANG and seriously, i love their outfits from head to toe. being a girl has its advantages. but i prefer being a guy. (if there's a next life)

wendy did a  makeover for me yesterday before we head out for drinks. thanks pretty!


2 white wines, 2 champagnes and 1 red wine before heading off to Butter. my stomach is still churning with alcohol now. it has been long.



taken from my phone. and i tell you, my phone's flash is amazingly bright!


me; joeve.

suddenly, i become very lazy in uploading more. hahahahhaha.

more the next time. =)

so much has happened within this one whole god damn month.

no more negative posts anymore. im going to be the most happiest girl on earth once again. thats a promise to myself till you knowwww..

got back on a tuesday. met wendy for prawning at night. six hours of shagness went to prawning. backside aching and many many prawns to eat.

wednesday was gaming live 4 dead. and when i got home, i was having visions of zombies while entering into dreamland.

thursday was pretty's birthday. and guess what? WE HAD LOTS OF FUN!! wheeeeeee!!

today was out prawning again with pretty and borders afterwards.

photos nexttt.

i have been pushing the date back to KL further and further. i dont want to go back because i realized, thats not my home at all.

now i know what is home.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

its so good to be home! and to be able to meet pretty after so long!

flea market during the weekends were okay. at least wendy managed to cover the 2 days rent.

www.daintybeadshouse.blogspot.com

went prawning yesterday and i only caught 3 damn prawns.


later.

I finally know what is the real feeling of regret.

i seriously hate this type of feeling because it's causing me to feel so depressed that i wished i can crawl into mommy's hug and have a good, heavy cry.

all along, i thought that as long there's love, whatever hardships come, it will be very easy to overcome it. BUT I WAS WRONG.

during the first few months, everything was doing great. but it hit a downturn when money came in. it's good that a guy knows how to earn money to support his family. but what if he choses money over love?

he always tell me, he likes money. he even said before that work and money is more important than me. he also mentioned that he wont do anything which doesnt benefit him.

when i was in penang nursing a so-called heartbreak, he told me that we are still young. we need to find more money first. next time if we are stable, we can stick to each other twentyfour-seven. i thought that was his own thoughts. but it wasnt. someone in the family advised him, and he agreed with this statement.

it was tough to put up a front when i know who said what, and what happened. i know that there's already no love (perhaps only liking), no more being the priority in his heart but i still came back. i really dont know for what purpose. perhaps i am jus trying to myself feel humiliated.

no matter how hard i tried, how hard i tried not to find problems and how hard i tried to absorb that money is very very important in his family, i can never succeed.

i came to KL in the name of love.
i want to work in KL in the name of love.
i left my comfort zone in the name of love.
i live in self denial in the name of love.
i spend my 6 months living like a parasite in the name of love.

no more.

several things they dont understand.

if i want a good life, i can stay in singapore.
if i want to sit luxury comfortable cars, i can stay in singapore.
if i want money, i can stay in singapore.
if i want to carry branded stuffs, i can stay in singapore.
if i want to have a hell of a good time, i can stay in singapore.

i shouldnt deceive myself anymore.

i came KL because of him.

money is the root of all evil.

after reading wendy's blog, i feel so happy for her! she has found someone who makes her feel important in his life. i believed that will be her mr right!


after reading how much she and her relationship has grown, i felt very ashamed of myself.


i can never be more important than money and work.

i can never have the relationship i have always wanted.



time for a long long vacation.

hello, good ol' singapore.

gosh. it has been a while.

yesterday was out with ndrew at sungei wang.

the day before was out with wendy at bugis. that place totally became a new place.
she helped me to look for heels and top. im so in love with them!!!

one debt more to clear! im feeling so happy!

if things turn out differently next month, i can go on a japan/bkk trip with wendy and ndrew. wheeee! i cant wait! =)

okay.

i intended to upload photos but my phone isnt with me. i exchanged it with a laptop which comes with a 24/7 internet access.


my weight has been going down. the last i weighed was 39kg. i dont have the appetite i had when i was in singapore.

anyways, i have been to 2 nightclubs here. and i tell you, night clubs are so much more fun than clubbing!!!

i had the strangest dream last night.

i am sick and tired of being a church mouse!

i havent shop for a very very long time.
no new tops to wear.
no new dresses to wear.
no new havi to wear.
and nooooo, i dont spend money like water as what i used to do.

why cant i just treat myself better?

why?
why?
why?
why?
why?
why?

i should just be a good girl, stay at home and live off my parents while i still can. and when i feel like it, i can get a part time job anytime. and when i feel that time is too long, i can get a full time job.
and when wendy is not flying, i can go out to have drinks with her.
and when joe feels like emo-ing, i can accompany him for mac.
and when darran has to wait for bubul to knock off, we can have small bites.
and when jeffrey feels like singing in the middle of the night, we can jus hail a taxi and go together since we are staying along the same street.  
and when i feel like doing nothing, i can jus stretched my two legs, put on the table and sleep.
and when ndrew and travis have nothing to do, we can party at gay clubs.
and when mommy is around and i have nothing to do, i can disturb her.

i hate the feeling of being a church mouse.

poverty isnt the life for me. nope, we are not even talking about marriage here.

i really should treat myself better then before. i should stop thinking about burdens that are not my problems.

because i am starting to think;
when i have problems, who solve it for me?                                                       
when i have burdens, who carry it for me?

nope, he doesnt help me solve my problems and carry my burdens, he only asked me to use my brains and think.

and financial issues which do not concern me have been getting on my nerves.

set aside to that, mr tan who used to be my father has decided to piss me off badly, that i am severing ties with him. i dont even need a father in the first place, unless i needed fast cash. well, thats the truth for me.

therefore, i have decided to put myself in the second priority. mommy, of course will be the top priority.

end of this month, the answer will be there for me.

why do we have to close a chapter before entering into a new chapter?

i used to read the ending before going to the beginning, because i wish to know whether it is happily ever after or goodbye forever. and it goes the same for dramas that i watched.

having a good beginning may not have a good ending.


a person may fall in love quickly and fall out of love a quickly as it was in the beginning.

people who knew the story between jack and i will know that we got together faster than a bullet train can go. but going fast has its disadvantages.
the wheels on the train will wear and tear. once the wheels are spoiled, they have to be replaced by new wheels, and the process of changing the wheels will be tedious and time-consuming.

i know that i myself have given up.

a guy who cannot plan his own finances will only drag me down BADLY.

byebye to the past, and hello to the future.

im supposed to be asleep by now but the sleeping bugs refused to bite me.

i will be back in sing in april!

hopefully, i can meet up with pretty coz i still owe her $$ and i missed talking to her. i want to hear about her cruise trip coz i have never been to one.

then need to settle one debt here before leaving.

how funny things go..

people owe me money, and i owe people money.

hopefully by april, i can get back half of what others owe me. then i no need to chase people everytime, like im some kind of loan shark.
even if i dont chase, i also will feel uneasy coz everyone loves money, including me. jus that i dont take it to heart, sometimes.
it all depends on situations, you see.

i realized i have been a very unfillal daughter.

i kept cursing my father to death. therefore,  i need to put a halt to it.

from next 2 months onwards, i shall stop cursing my father.

right, im starting to blabber rubbish.

OUCH!